How to Check in With Your Creative Mates (Without It Being Awkward)

We’ve all had that moment. You notice a mate, a collaborator, or a colleague just doesn’t seem like themselves. Maybe they’ve gone quiet, missed a few rehearsals or meetings, or started replying to texts with one-word answers. Something feels off. You care, but you hesitate. You don’t want to say the wrong thing or make it uncomfortable. You tell yourself, maybe they just need space—but you still wonder.

The truth is, checking in on someone’s mental health can feel awkward. But it doesn’t have to be. In creative spaces—where long hours, emotional labour, financial precarity, and artistic vulnerability all collide—looking out for one another should be a core part of how we work, not an afterthought. At Hey Mate, we support creatives across the country in building better wellbeing cultures, and that starts with everyday, human conversations. You don’t need to be a counsellor to check in. You just need to be a mate who’s willing to care.

The most important thing to remember is that check-ins don’t need to be formal or confronting. You don’t need a script or a big lead-up. Most people respond well when it’s kept casual, warm, and genuine. A simple “Hey, I’ve been thinking about you—how are you going?” can go a long way. You’re not trying to fix them or force them to open up. You’re simply creating a moment where they feel seen.

Timing matters too. Try not to check in right in the middle of a stressful deadline or high-pressure moment like a bump-in or dress rehearsal. Instead, look for quieter moments—during a lunch break, after a meeting, or via a message when things are calmer. These in-between times can offer the breathing space needed for a real conversation.

When you do check in, it helps to focus on what you’ve noticed, rather than making assumptions. Saying something like, “You’ve seemed a bit quieter than usual—just wanted to check in,” is a gentle way to open the door. It shows you’re paying attention without putting pressure on them to explain everything. Avoid trying to label what they’re feeling, and don’t jump to conclusions. Just offer space.

If the person does start to open up, one of the best things you can do is listen. You don’t need to offer advice or try to cheer them up. Just being a steady presence is often enough. Reflect what you hear. Thank them for trusting you. Let them know you’re glad they shared it with you. And most importantly—don’t try to fill every silence. Let the conversation breathe.

Of course, not everyone will want to talk, and that’s OK. If they brush it off, you can still gently let them know you’re there. A simple “No worries at all—just know I’m around if you ever want to chat” keeps the connection open without applying pressure. Sometimes, just knowing someone is paying attention can make a big difference, even if they don’t respond right away.

Support doesn’t always have to be deep and emotional. It can be practical and simple. If you know someone’s having a rough time, bringing them a snack, offering to help with a task, or even just sitting with them in silence can be just as meaningful as talking. Acts of care, no matter how small, go a long way in creative spaces where people often feel overextended.

If someone shares more serious struggles, remember you’re not expected to be their therapist. What you can do is gently guide them toward further support. You might let them know about services like Hey Mate that are tailored for the creative industries. Saying something like, “There’s actually a support service for creatives I know of—if you ever want the link, I can send it through,” keeps it low-pressure while still pointing them in the right direction.

And finally, try to make check-ins part of your regular rhythm—not just something that happens when things are obviously falling apart. Creative workplaces and collaborations benefit from a culture of openness. Whether it’s a quick “How’s everyone doing today?” at the start of a meeting or simply sharing when you’re having a tough time, you’re helping normalise conversations about mental health. It signals to your peers that being honest, vulnerable, or human at work is OK.

You won’t always get it right. You might fumble, or worry you’ve said the wrong thing. But showing up with care, respect, and the willingness to listen will always matter more than having perfect words. In the arts, where burnout and overwhelm are common and support can be scarce, a simple check-in might be the lifeline someone needs.

So next time you get that gut feeling that someone’s not quite OK, trust it. Reach out. Ask. Listen. It doesn’t have to be big—it just has to be real. And if you’re ever not sure how to help, just being there is already enough.

Need a place to point your mates?

Check out Hey Mate’s Creative Wellbeing Hub for free tools, resources, and creative-industry aligned support.

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